Transexual Questions and Answers

Ask Kristy - Transexual Questions and Answers

Welcome to my transexual questions and answers page.

I’ll answer your transexual questions the best I can. Please submit your questions and I’ll select some of those along with my answers to be published here.

I don’t always have time to respond to every question individually, but I do so when I can. Nothing is off-limits here. If you have always wanted to know something about shemales or transsexuals, but didn’t know who to ask, give me a try.

What is the difference between a shemale and a transexual?

Submitted by Mark from San Diego

Kristy: Oh Mark, you need to know that most of us hate the term shemale. It is a term that seems to have originated in the adult porn industry. I think most of us TS girls feel the term is rather degrading. If you don’t believe me, go into a transgender chat room and watch for the occasional guys who enter and start asking where the shemales are. They are usually flamed or ignored entirely. Most of you know that a transsexual is a person who feels intensely that they were born the wrong sex, do not identify with their biological gender and seek reassignment therapy including hormone replacement and sometimes gender reassignment surgery. Transgender is a term that has gained increasing popularity over the past 15 or so years. It encompasses a broader group of people on the gender continuum.

It is true that some of us TS girls don’t mind being called shemales, but be cautious. Some transgender girls will become downright nasty, considering it an insult to be called a shemale. When you don’t know what someone prefers to be called, it is possibly best to simply refer to them as transgendered until you can politely ask what they consider themselves to be. Internet marketers, and indeed this site, find themselves using the term shemales whether they like it or not, because it is such a popular search term. So you see, it all boils down to personal preferences when you’re dealing with someone from the transgender community. Labels can be a tricky thing to apply. Sometimes it’s best to let others choose what label they prefer.

What is the difference between gender identity and biological sex?

Submitted by Thomas from Toronto, Ont

Kristy: Thanks for the great questions Thomas. Gender identity is a person’s internal sense of being male, female (or something else). Biological sex refers to the physical and genetic characteristics that are typically associated with being male or female. Transsexual women have a female gender identity, even though their biological sex was male.

Is Kristy your real name, and do you go by other names in your adult videos?

Submitted by Jake from San Jose

Kristy: Hi Jake. Kristy is not my real name, but it is a preferred stage name. I use a couple variations of the spelling including Kristi and Christy. I love the name. I’ll just say that Kristy is fairly close to my given name.

What is the process of transitioning?

Submitted by Liam from Manchester, UK

Kristy: Hello Liam from across the pond! Transitioning is the process when a transgender individual starts living as their true gender. This may involve social transition (changing their name, pronouns, and outward appearance), legal transition (updating identification documents), and/or medical transition (hormone therapy, surgeries). Different trans women choose their own transition path. Thus some may take more steps toward transition than others.

Can you still have orgasms when you’re on female hormone therapy?

Submitted by Monica from Jacksonville

Kristy: This is a frequently asked question in most of the transgender forums. The answer may vary from person to person but in general, the higher the female hormone dosage and the longer you have been on them, the more difficult it is to achieve orgasm. This doesn’t mean it is impossible, but it does tend to become a more time consuming task. I found that achieving orgasm requires that my mind be in the right place. I can no longer reach orgasm based on physical stimulation alone. It isn’t the same and it isn’t as easy, but orgasms are still worth the effort for me.

Are you romantically involved with anyone at this time?

Submitted by Big Bob from New Castle, DE

Kristy: I have been keeping busy with a hectic work schedule that has me traveling a lot. I don’t have a steady lover, although there are a couple people I hook up with now and then. One of these days I dream of settling down with that special someone and living happily ever after… (sigh).

Do you intend to have surgery to complete your transformation?

Submitted by Luis from Las Vegas

Kristy: Luis, I really haven’t decided the answer to that question. I suspect that I will not have surgery though. I have adapted nicely to a female role and I am on hormone replacement therapy. I am happy with the changes I have achieved, but never was so eager to forge ahead with surgery. I have often considered surgical gender reassignment as an option, but so far, I’m content with life and I enjoy myself as is.

Do you date guys, girls or both?

Submitted by Leeza from Boston

Kristy: Hi Leeza, I primarily date guys, but I’ve been known to date a girl or two, and I’ve also dated other TS girls, but that tends to get kind of confusing. You’ll find that transsexual girls each have their own preferences. While I consider myself to be bisexual, many consider themselves to be straight, gay or lesbian. It’s about as clear as mud, huh?

How do hormones work for trans women?

Submitted by Olivia from Perth

Kristy: Hello Olivia. Thanks for your question. Here is my layperson explanation. Of course, any advice on hormones should come from a qualified physician. With that said, trans women may take estrogen and anti-androgens to induce feminizing physical changes such as breast growth, body fat redistribution, and a decrease in muscle mass. The specific hormones and dosages vary depending on individual needs and medical supervision. Eventually, male to female trans women are likely to experience an inability to get erections.

What surgeries are available for trans women?

Submitted by Ben K. from Greenville, SC

Kristy: Many gender-affirming and cosmetic surgeries can be performed for trans women. Some common surgeries for trans women include gender-affirming genital surgery (also known as vaginoplasty), breast augmentation, facial feminization surgery, and tracheal shave (reducing the Adam’s apple). Not all trans women choose to have surgery, and the decision to undergo any of these procedures is based on individual needs and desires.

Are most trans women attracted to men?

Submitted by Jason from Bakersfield, CA

Kristy: Interesting question and I’ll do my best to answer based on my interactions with a large number of transexuals and trans-identifying women. Sexual orientation and gender identity are separate aspects of a person’s identity so you will find variety. Trans women, like cisgender individuals, can have a variety of sexual orientations such as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or others. I would say that in my circle the number of transexuals who are primarily attracted to men is about 50%. Others would identify as bisexual or pansexual and may include men in their sexual activities.

I published an article you might find interesting: “Straight Men Attracted to Transexuals

How should I refer to a trans woman?

Submitted by Miguel from Houston, TX

Kristy: Hey Miguel, that is a very thoughtful question! My best advice is to always use the name and pronouns that the person has chosen for themselves. If you are unsure, politely ask for their preferred pronouns or wait for them to identify themselves. Misgendering or deadnaming (using their old name) a trans person is disrespectful and can cause harm. Likewise, trans women use a variety of terms to identify themselves such as trans woman, transexual, crossdresser, shemale (a sex worker term), etc. It is always best to let her know what she prefers to be called. Otherwise, you risk being unintentionally offensive.

How can I be an ally to trans women?

Submitted by Garrett from Asheville, NC

Kristy: What a great question Garrett! Trans women will appreciate you. My advice is to educate yourself about transgender issues, chat with and listen to trans individuals about their experiences, and be supportive by using proper pronouns and inclusive language. Speak out against transphobia, advocate for policies that protect transgender rights, and support organizations working to improve the lives of trans people.  I recently published an article about this very topic: Become a Trans Ally