I have struggled with being transexual my entire life. At the time of being born in the wrong body, being transexual was taboo and never spoken in public. I knew at an early age, I would say probably around 5 -6 years old that I was different then boys my age. I would spend my time playing house and with dolls and started exploring my sister's drawers for girls clothing to wear. To this day, I am always more calm and content when I let my feminine feelings come out. Crossdressing led to acquiring feminine hormones on line and continued on them for two years and saw some wonderful changes happening but ended up stopping the hormones because I had to hide my desires and subtle changes to my peers and family. That feeling has never died and is extremely strong now. I dream every night of becoming a vibrant and passable woman and would definitely have gender reassignment surgery. I have never considered myself as being gay but more hetero and being with a man as his girlfriend or wife.